Expectations, Meet Reality
a trip gone sideways + a mini guide to Cologne
Hi friends,
I hope your December is off to a festive start. Are you a holiday traveler? Any special plans for the end of 2024?
Nick and I just returned from a short trip to Germany, where my mom flew in from California to meet us and wander Cologne’s Christmas markets together. As Nick and I won’t make it back to the States for the holidays this year, this was a meet-in-the-middle compromise, and a chance to celebrate the season as a family.
As we were planning this trip, I envisioned strolling with my two favorite people through city blocks of sparkling lights and trees covered in baubles. I had wanted to send you a postcard describing a winter wonderland: the sweet and savory aroma of candied nuts wafting from the market stalls, the warming spice of glühwein, that dizzy, off-kilter feeling you get when weaving aimlessly through a slow-moving crowd. And I did have all those experiences—but they aren’t the full story.
I’ve been struggling with a medical issue (nothing to worry about!) that has totally zapped me. I’m talking rot-in-bed-all-day-eating-nothing-but-Skittles-and-potato-chips levels of exhausted. I had hoped the change of scenery would energize me, but there were days in Cologne where I only managed to leave my room for a quick meal. On my very best days, I could handle no more than a couple hours of wandering the markets before taking a break at the hotel.
Friends, this presented a problem: what could I possibly write about this trip if I was hardly doing anything?
The Sam who visited Cologne wasn’t the Sam I usually choose to show you. My online personality is more savvy, energetic globetrotter (or that’s what I strive for, anyway) than chronic napper. Of course, the whole truth of who I am is messier and more multifaceted, but after several years of writing this newsletter, I find myself internalizing my streamlined internet persona, taking it on as my true identity and judging myself against that unrealistic standard. I want my travels to go a certain way—and I want to be a certain way—so that I can delight you with stories of adventure. But my reality doesn’t always measure up, and it can be difficult to give myself grace when things go sideways.
This time, though, I didn’t have a choice but to listen to my body. I needed rest. Flesh-and-blood Sam had to take priority over internet Sam, no matter how many potential stories were calling my name from beyond my hotel room. And after flopping between the bed and the couch for longer than I would have previously thought reasonable, I felt a shift in my perspective.
I had initially worried that my mom and Nick would be bored to tears as I napped the afternoons away. I kept apologizing for ruining the trip. I assured them, over and over, that I would be fine if they wanted to do their own thing. But when they could have gone out and seen Cologne, they chose to stay in with me. We watched movies, ate cheap takeout, and chilled; nothing fancy, or even all that special. And you know what? It was nice. Maybe nicer, in a way, than struggling to keep up conversations while fighting through throngs at the Christmas markets.
Would I rather we had been able to explore Cologne? Of course. But it’s easy to forget that travel is less about what you’re doing than who you’re doing it with, whether that’s loved ones, new friends made on the road, or just your own wonderful company. The whole point of meeting in Cologne was to gather during the holiday season—not to see every single thing the city had to offer so I could tick items off a list and write about them.
As cliché as it sounds, spending time together was all we really cared about. And this trip, while imperfect, achieved that.
Below the jump is a mini guide to Cologne, with reviews of its kölsch breweries and Christmas markets. Wishing you all a restful, joyous week.
See you for our next adventure,
Sam
