In my 20s and 30s, I led your DC life, then relatively suddenly woke up to the financially lucrative void at the center of all that competition and movement. At least in my case. I retired at 38 and then 45, and finally made it stick at 55. Now, my wife, who still works like a lunatic, describes me as the busiest retiree she's ever met. And she's right--between photography, cooking, playing the clarinet, travel blogging, and travel itself (planning and going), and all the other little obsessions that arise along the way, I rarely have a spare minute. But as a current and former expat (now writing from home in Belgium), I have to call the expatriate life a gift from some God. It's a unique opportunity to add real depth to one's life. It's not easy, especially in places with established American communities to distract the attention, but when we strip away the safety nets and dive in, life never looks the same. I end your opportunities in a vast historical civilization like Cairo and love what you're doing with the antiquities.
This is a beautiful, raw and oh-so-relatable piece, Sam -- those feelings of ‘who am I?’ without a business card. Thank you for writing about this. You are a wonderful, thoughtful writer and I look forward to reading your posts every week!
Wow, Sam. What a beautiful, vulnerable, relatable piece. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us who think the world of you — if I may speak for the whole lot of your followers! ;)
Samantha, this was not easy to share, and I'm glad you did. It's not easy to open a space within our lives to ask questions about ourselves, about identity and why we really want and do things. Your writing is wonderful, and you've got a world of words. Others when asked about themselves, years from now, are not going to talk about their meetings. I suspect they would rather listen to your stories.
Excellent, especially this: “Writing has come naturally to me since I was a child, and leaning into that innate strength was a life-affirming act.” I’d read a whole essay on that.
What a wonderfully insightful piece, Sam! Thank you for your vulnerability - I think a lot of people go through similar experiences (myself included) and your honesty really helps to make it clear that these aren’t feelings that need to just be pushed down. Proud of you for finding internal validation!
It's not easy, full stop. You find yourself idle and all of a sudden it's time to rediscover yourself...
For me, lots of good, unexpected and creative things emerged, but also trauma from the past I'd been trying to avoid, plus the stigma of not contributing to the financial health of my family (aka my partner). A bit of a mess really 😆
It's amazing that you're back to writing, cheering you on!
Ugh we have this trailing spouse thing in the Navy too! UGH I think of those first few dinners with my husbands co workers where I felt like a worthless pile of poo because no one asked me any questions or thought I held any value simply bc I didn’t work! 🤮
I have been having a similar identity crisis and all I can say is that I’m glad for it, I’m glad I’m aware of this and getting this out of my system because I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to be a person whose whole identity is her job. Even though it’s not pretty to look at this issue head on - it’s ugly and sticky and surprisingly painful - I am happy I have the courage to do it.
I love this! And honestly couldn’t relate more. Especially since I also used to work in DC. Ever since Covid I’m starting to realize that my job isn’t what defines me and that’s actually what I DON’T want to define me. I don’t want people to think of me as Madison the data engineer but rather someone that brings joy into their life and helps them live better. I think society molds us into thinking a career and how “prestigious” it is determines our worth- which is entirely wrong. It’s when we realize this and look deeper at what makes us happy and fulfilled that we can step back from this need to prove ourselves all the time. - Madison
This essay makes me curious about the prequel: what sort of experiences tell yourself a story about how you became a DC mover and shaker rather than a writer or artist, for instance.
In answer to your question about periods removed from work, both of them I used to write feature scripts. It's pretty clear that "jobs" stand in the way of "the work" for me even though the two are on the same field. Is the essence of my recent post.
In my 20s and 30s, I led your DC life, then relatively suddenly woke up to the financially lucrative void at the center of all that competition and movement. At least in my case. I retired at 38 and then 45, and finally made it stick at 55. Now, my wife, who still works like a lunatic, describes me as the busiest retiree she's ever met. And she's right--between photography, cooking, playing the clarinet, travel blogging, and travel itself (planning and going), and all the other little obsessions that arise along the way, I rarely have a spare minute. But as a current and former expat (now writing from home in Belgium), I have to call the expatriate life a gift from some God. It's a unique opportunity to add real depth to one's life. It's not easy, especially in places with established American communities to distract the attention, but when we strip away the safety nets and dive in, life never looks the same. I end your opportunities in a vast historical civilization like Cairo and love what you're doing with the antiquities.
This is a beautiful, raw and oh-so-relatable piece, Sam -- those feelings of ‘who am I?’ without a business card. Thank you for writing about this. You are a wonderful, thoughtful writer and I look forward to reading your posts every week!
Wow, Sam. What a beautiful, vulnerable, relatable piece. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us who think the world of you — if I may speak for the whole lot of your followers! ;)
Sounds like you are finding real freedom. So great!
Wonderful piece! We love you for who you are, not where you work.
Beautifully expressed. A very relatable essay. Thank you!
Samantha, this was not easy to share, and I'm glad you did. It's not easy to open a space within our lives to ask questions about ourselves, about identity and why we really want and do things. Your writing is wonderful, and you've got a world of words. Others when asked about themselves, years from now, are not going to talk about their meetings. I suspect they would rather listen to your stories.
Excellent, especially this: “Writing has come naturally to me since I was a child, and leaning into that innate strength was a life-affirming act.” I’d read a whole essay on that.
What a wonderfully insightful piece, Sam! Thank you for your vulnerability - I think a lot of people go through similar experiences (myself included) and your honesty really helps to make it clear that these aren’t feelings that need to just be pushed down. Proud of you for finding internal validation!
So much I can relate to Sam.
It's not easy, full stop. You find yourself idle and all of a sudden it's time to rediscover yourself...
For me, lots of good, unexpected and creative things emerged, but also trauma from the past I'd been trying to avoid, plus the stigma of not contributing to the financial health of my family (aka my partner). A bit of a mess really 😆
It's amazing that you're back to writing, cheering you on!
Ugh we have this trailing spouse thing in the Navy too! UGH I think of those first few dinners with my husbands co workers where I felt like a worthless pile of poo because no one asked me any questions or thought I held any value simply bc I didn’t work! 🤮
I have been having a similar identity crisis and all I can say is that I’m glad for it, I’m glad I’m aware of this and getting this out of my system because I don’t want to be this way. I don’t want to be a person whose whole identity is her job. Even though it’s not pretty to look at this issue head on - it’s ugly and sticky and surprisingly painful - I am happy I have the courage to do it.
This made me cry remembering the years of being walked away from at cocktail parties when people realized I was “the wife.”
I used to have an ID badge that said Dependent! Trailing spouse is the improvement 😂
I love this! And honestly couldn’t relate more. Especially since I also used to work in DC. Ever since Covid I’m starting to realize that my job isn’t what defines me and that’s actually what I DON’T want to define me. I don’t want people to think of me as Madison the data engineer but rather someone that brings joy into their life and helps them live better. I think society molds us into thinking a career and how “prestigious” it is determines our worth- which is entirely wrong. It’s when we realize this and look deeper at what makes us happy and fulfilled that we can step back from this need to prove ourselves all the time. - Madison
This essay makes me curious about the prequel: what sort of experiences tell yourself a story about how you became a DC mover and shaker rather than a writer or artist, for instance.
In answer to your question about periods removed from work, both of them I used to write feature scripts. It's pretty clear that "jobs" stand in the way of "the work" for me even though the two are on the same field. Is the essence of my recent post.