One thing I came to think of as I read this is the inner journey that takes place when traveling. We might be in a breathtaking location and barely see it because of the storm inside our minds. Or we might be in an ugly location and spot something beautiful because our mind is open and ready to take in impressions.
Thank you for sharing such a personal journey and story.
“the inner journey that takes place when traveling”
Minna, I’m so flattered you said this, because that phrase is exactly what I’m always trying to evoke when writing this newsletter. Thank you so much for reading ❤️
Thanks for another beautiful and moving post, Sam! I can relate to the feeling that anniversaries of those we've lost can feel both meaningful and arbitrary. The metaphor of borders is just perfect, especially when the loss is new. Death and the grief lead us into strange places filled with both dark and light. I think you capture some of both. I also am now very interested in learning more about Cyprus!
:) thanks so much for reading, Ruth! Cyprus is a fascinating place, and frankly has more to offer than I gave it credit for in this post, ha! There is supposed to be beautiful hiking in the Troodos Mountains, lots of monasteries and wineries, etc...but it was a little cold when we were there to venture up to higher altitudes.
There are no rules to grief, just methods to handle it. My mother used to be obsessed with death anniversaries, I don't know what faded that but I'd imagine losing track of them as they racked up helped.
"I thought about who would have jurisdiction if someone was murdered here, or what would happen if you lost your passport and the border guard who just checked it didn’t recognize you and refused to let you back in."
Lots of literary excitement authors have with liminal spaces, especially geographic. I'm re-reading Pynchon's "Bleeding Edge" and there's a scene involving a cruise ship for bipolar disordered people who try to find relief from it it by visiting places like Cyprus that are divided between two states. My favorite Mieville book The City and The City posits a place like Cyprus or really, I feel it's like Palestine and Israel, where two competing worldviews live in the exact same geography and basically the boundary line is only what the citizens of each city choose to see or "unsee" (unseeing is a big idea in that book that will teach you a lot about how your mind works). And for a political thriller approach, the movie JSA: Joint Security Area by Chan-Wook Park tells a crime story that happens in the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea.
Thanks for these book/movie recs! The City and The City sounds especially interesting--putting that one on my reading list. Joint Security Area sounds right up my alley as well.
Really good essay, Sam. I can’t imagine what losing your father feels like, but I can understand that coming to terms with it is much more complex than just letting time pass and crossing a threshold. And as always, your writing transports me every time.
Thank you so much, Andrei. You hit the nail on the head--everyone grieves differently and while time generally makes losses feel less raw, it’s not entirely fair to say “time heels all wounds,” is it?
Loved this, Sam! Travel takes us many places near and far with the excitement of new things to see. Nevertheless, at some point, it’s all personal. It’s moments connecting our past to our future. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading, Patricia! I've been reflecting lately on why exactly I write this newsletter, and you basically summarized it in this comment: travel gives us exciting new stimuli, and it's important to reflect on how that affects us internally--because at some point, it's all personal. Hope you are well :)
Thanks for the mention. And thanks for sharing the story of grieving your dad. Or not grieving so much as coming to some sort of terms with.
It's ironic because my mother died fifteen years ago on the day after Mother's Day and about an hour ago I finished a draft of my thoughts about that. Funny world, eh?
It feels weird to say this, but after I finished it, I cried for the first time since she died. She and I had a very complicated relationship. And I guess I'm not as emotional a person as I thought.
It sounds like perhaps you got a much-needed emotional release from writing about it. This may sound weird, but I sometimes find myself crying over things that I’m not that emotional about, and *not* crying over things that are huge? Maybe that’s some sort of self-preservation mechanism for me.
One thing I came to think of as I read this is the inner journey that takes place when traveling. We might be in a breathtaking location and barely see it because of the storm inside our minds. Or we might be in an ugly location and spot something beautiful because our mind is open and ready to take in impressions.
Thank you for sharing such a personal journey and story.
“the inner journey that takes place when traveling”
Minna, I’m so flattered you said this, because that phrase is exactly what I’m always trying to evoke when writing this newsletter. Thank you so much for reading ❤️
Thanks for another beautiful and moving post, Sam! I can relate to the feeling that anniversaries of those we've lost can feel both meaningful and arbitrary. The metaphor of borders is just perfect, especially when the loss is new. Death and the grief lead us into strange places filled with both dark and light. I think you capture some of both. I also am now very interested in learning more about Cyprus!
:) thanks so much for reading, Ruth! Cyprus is a fascinating place, and frankly has more to offer than I gave it credit for in this post, ha! There is supposed to be beautiful hiking in the Troodos Mountains, lots of monasteries and wineries, etc...but it was a little cold when we were there to venture up to higher altitudes.
I appreciated that the piece was more of a personal journey. There’s always the next time to discover the rest.
Such a moving post, Sam. 'Seven more minutes.' Gosh.
It's taken me a while to catch up on my Substack reading, and I'm so pleased to have had this post to look forward to. Wonderful words. 🌸
Thank you so much, Rebecca ❤️ I too have been struggling to keep up with all the amazing Substack content I want to read!
There are no rules to grief, just methods to handle it. My mother used to be obsessed with death anniversaries, I don't know what faded that but I'd imagine losing track of them as they racked up helped.
"I thought about who would have jurisdiction if someone was murdered here, or what would happen if you lost your passport and the border guard who just checked it didn’t recognize you and refused to let you back in."
Lots of literary excitement authors have with liminal spaces, especially geographic. I'm re-reading Pynchon's "Bleeding Edge" and there's a scene involving a cruise ship for bipolar disordered people who try to find relief from it it by visiting places like Cyprus that are divided between two states. My favorite Mieville book The City and The City posits a place like Cyprus or really, I feel it's like Palestine and Israel, where two competing worldviews live in the exact same geography and basically the boundary line is only what the citizens of each city choose to see or "unsee" (unseeing is a big idea in that book that will teach you a lot about how your mind works). And for a political thriller approach, the movie JSA: Joint Security Area by Chan-Wook Park tells a crime story that happens in the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea.
Thanks for these book/movie recs! The City and The City sounds especially interesting--putting that one on my reading list. Joint Security Area sounds right up my alley as well.
Really good essay, Sam. I can’t imagine what losing your father feels like, but I can understand that coming to terms with it is much more complex than just letting time pass and crossing a threshold. And as always, your writing transports me every time.
Thank you so much, Andrei. You hit the nail on the head--everyone grieves differently and while time generally makes losses feel less raw, it’s not entirely fair to say “time heels all wounds,” is it?
Yeah, no, it isn’t. It might be more correct to say that “time wounds all heels”, huh? Inevitably, one’s going to experience suffering in this life.
“Time wounds all heels” 😂 too right!
This was great Sam - thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading, Tom 🙂 hope all is well with you!!
All good here - hope the same with you! 😊
Loved this, Sam! Travel takes us many places near and far with the excitement of new things to see. Nevertheless, at some point, it’s all personal. It’s moments connecting our past to our future. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading, Patricia! I've been reflecting lately on why exactly I write this newsletter, and you basically summarized it in this comment: travel gives us exciting new stimuli, and it's important to reflect on how that affects us internally--because at some point, it's all personal. Hope you are well :)
Very moving Sam. You have made me teary thinking of those that I have lost. Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos of so much sunshine.
❤️❤️ thank you for reading, Vicki, and I hope the tears were quickly followed by beautiful memories of your loved ones.
Thanks for the mention. And thanks for sharing the story of grieving your dad. Or not grieving so much as coming to some sort of terms with.
It's ironic because my mother died fifteen years ago on the day after Mother's Day and about an hour ago I finished a draft of my thoughts about that. Funny world, eh?
Really look forward to reading that essay, Michael!
It feels weird to say this, but after I finished it, I cried for the first time since she died. She and I had a very complicated relationship. And I guess I'm not as emotional a person as I thought.
It sounds like perhaps you got a much-needed emotional release from writing about it. This may sound weird, but I sometimes find myself crying over things that I’m not that emotional about, and *not* crying over things that are huge? Maybe that’s some sort of self-preservation mechanism for me.
Doesn't sound weird at all. I can get very emotional over things that are sad, but aren't about me. Humans be funny creatures.