This is a topic I think about a lot and I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head. I’m rather obsessed with the concept of ‘place’ and love the idea of trying to get under the skin of somewhere. However, I also think it’s basically a futile exercise because how could an outsider ever fully understand all the tiny nuances and hidden secrets of a culture they’ve just skimmed over.
I do occasionally like to indulge my own sense of superiority and think I’m better than other tourists for about 5 seconds😅 but in reality this is about as stupid as getting annoyed at all the other cars in a traffic jam. You are part of the jam too and are no less ‘guilty’ than anyone else.
“but in reality this is about as stupid as getting annoyed at all the other cars in a traffic jam. You are part of the jam too and are no less ‘guilty’ than anyone else.”
This made my giggle, Mikey--such a good point! Made me think of all the times I’ve gone to a crowded tourist site and thought “ugh, there are WAY too many people here” with zero self awareness about the fact that I’m one of them....😅
Fascinating essay. I’ve always acted a bit smuggish when I’ve heard friends talk about trips they’ve been on, and all the “cliche” places they visited that everyone always goes to, all while patting myself on the back because, surely, had I been in their place, I’d have found much more interesting places to visit. Goes to show how little I know.
😂 I have 100% been guilty of this, too! It’s taken a lot of work to shift my thinking from “you did THAT cliché thing? How pedestrian” to “good for you for getting out there!”
This was a very provocative essay. I found the sentence “It’s about showing you get it and the sense of superiority you derive from that” very enlightening. To be superior is to be above others. What does that say about us? It makes me also think of people who when at home love to rattle off all the places they’ve been as if they know these places. The point is again to be superior. Well written Sam!
Thanks mom❤️ I think we should all genuinely ask ourselves if we’re traveling to one-up people or if we’re traveling to learn something and enjoy! Hopefully it’s the latter, in which case...just be kind and aware and do whatever your heart tells you, as opposed to what’s “authentic.”
Love this piece. I encounter it a lot in the "I'm not a tourist, I'm a TRAVELLER" format. It is snobby, as you say: and lures people into thinking they've really got a bead on the geopolitics of the region because of one awkward conversation at a tram stop.
Glad to have stumbled upon this. It brings to mind Jamaica Kincaid's "A Small Place," that being her island of Antigua –
“That the native does not like the tourist is not hard to explain. For every native of every place is a potential tourist, and every tourist is a native of somewhere. Every native everywhere lives a life of overwhelming and crushing banality and boredom and desperation and depression, and every deed, good and bad, is an attempt to forget this. Every native would like to find a way out, every native would like a rest, every native would like a tour. But some natives—most natives in the world—cannot go anywhere. They are too poor. They are too poor to go anywhere. They are too poor to escape the reality of their lives; and they are too poor to live properly in the place they live, which is the very place you, the tourist, want to go—so when the natives see you, the tourist, they envy you, they envy your ability to leave your own banality and boredom, they envy your ability to turn their own banality and boredom into a source of pleasure for yourself.”
My takeaway from your excellent post -- life is COMPLICATED!
Everything we do has it's pros and cons and there is no one right travel decision -- I think it all has to be taken as a whole.
During our six years of nomading, I have definitely been a tourist -- what else can you call yourself when visiting in Rome for six days?
But when we lived in Sarajevo for two months in a house owned by a local Muslim family, we were something different. Definitely not locals, but walking to my coworking spot every day and getting to know the streets a bit better, as well as the women I bought my bread from and learning the outdoor market I did my shopping in had been bombed during the war, you do become something different from a tourist.
After six years of nomading, I no longer try to put a name on it. I'm just me doing my thing and having my experiences and meeting the people I do and then writing about it.
And, yes, I have totally been "that guy" at times. No, I never made love to a kalamata olive, but I have obnoxiously pronounced Budapest as as Budapeshhhhhht to show how worldly I am.
I think one thing has forced us to realize we are not locals, but instead have an incredible amount of privilege -- that's the fact that we are a gay couple and have lived in some very homophobic countries where the laws won't ever be applied to us, but the locals live in fear of them. That in and of itself is very sobering.
“I no longer try to put a name on it. I'm just me doing my thing and having my experiences and meeting the people I do and then writing about it.”
I really like this take on it, Michael. We don’t have to be “tourists” or “locals” or “travelers” or anything in particular other than ourselves, doing what we’re doing! And I feel you re: policing and (non)application of local laws forcing you to recognize your privilege as a foreigner. One of my weirdest experiences in Egypt has been driving into other governorates and ending up sandwiched between multiple police trucks who have appointed themselves as our escorts...because if something happened to Americans on their turf, it would be a huge embarrassment. Which feels very icky and like it is putting a premium on certain human lives over others. (I’ve been meaning to write something about this for awhile, perhaps it’s time!)
Oh yeah, that's an extreme example of that sort of thing that happens a lot and always makes me uncomfortable. But I've also learned that while I don't like being fussed over and don't like the implications of being "special" you often have to go with the flow and let people do their jobs.
Very true--honestly, one of my general takeaways from life abroad is that there are very narrow circumstances in which putting up a fight and refusing to go with the flow will yield a desirable result, and those circumstances tend to involve threats to your well-being. Might as well save your energy for the times when it’s necessary!
Yup. And that it can't be about what I'm feeling -- I HATE being called Mister and much prefer to be called Michael and on an equal footing with everyone. But that simply isn't how it is done in many cultures. So I accept that and then just make sure I say please and thank you for even the smallest thing.
We had dinner with new acquaintances in one country who happened to be expats. They treated the staff like they were invisible or just machines to be given instructions and I had a very hard time biting my tongue.
Oof. I am sorry to say that I also know many expats like this...even worse, I’ve noticed that behavior is rife among diplomats. Who are, ya know, abroad to represent the U.S. Ugh.
"We don’t have to be “tourists” or “locals” or “travelers” or anything in particular other than ourselves, doing what we’re doing!"
Thank you got freeing me from the shackles of thinking of myself as a tourist or traveller or nomad or any of those other labels. From now on, I shall be a space cowboy.
Yes yes yes to all of this!! I have thought about this for years and you put it all into words so nicely. And thanks for linking to Be a Better Traveler! :)
Such a great topic and many valuable insights! Having traveled quite a lot of late, I think the most important thing is to be sensitive to the customs, culture and politics of the place in which you’re traveling and not to be so hidebound in your own national or personal identity that you can’t be open to experiencing something different. I’m naturally curious about a lot of things, which can be an asset when traveling--except when employed tactlessly (like accosting random folks on the street). The “ugly” in American or any other nationality when traveling is really that heedless quality of those who think no matter where they are in the world, they should have their way in all things--food, convenience, creature comforts, entertainment, etc.--no fuss, no bother, just the way it is at home. Why then bother to travel?
This is spot-on, Ruth. Personally, I think being sensitive and kind is 95% of the battle when traveling! And I totally agree with you re: the “ugliness” coming from wanting things to be the way they are at home. I see this play out a lot in Egypt. The pace of life is much slower here, and I sometimes see travelers getting visibly frustrated with it. Some of that is understandable--there is sometimes a fine line between being culturally sensitive/accepting and being a pushover--but I think often people don’t realize that they are being intolerant of things that are very normal in the place they’re traveling. Keeping an open mind and going with the flow is key!
Thanks for this perspective! I think it takes the pressure off, *lol*. And cute painting! I love how the little buds seem to be questing around the page!
This was so good! I agree with you. It made me think about my local pub in London. It's great, and if had some friends visiting from say the States or France and they said they wanted to go to a pub that locals would go to I'd take them there. But if that pub then showed up on travel Instagrams or blogs I'd think oh no! My pub!
I completely agree with the tip that being a tourist is OK! That's what you are, you don't live where you're on holiday and yeah, you're having a much different experience than the person who lives there, but that's ok.
The bit that made me really laugh was the idea that some people say you should just ask people on the street for recommendations. Try that in London and the person will look at you like you've got two heads!
Thanks for reading, Tom!! I’m dying at the mental image of tourists asking random people on the street in London for recommendations 😂 That advice has always struck me as so strange...I mean, if you wouldn’t do it in your hometown, why would you do it when traveling?? Just act like you normally would!
This is a great read Samantha! I work in the tourism/travel industry in Jamaica and I am not particularly fond of the term - “travel like a local.” You’ve made some excellent points. If someone asks about, where I go to eat or have a drink, in their mind that’s a “local” thing to do because I’m a local. And in truth, where I go to eat, hang out and drink is, in essence, where the “tourists” would go because I live in a resort town (Montego Bay).
Getting info from a local about what to do makes tourists “feel” as if they’re having an “authentic experience”. And I think that’s where some people have it confused- thinking that having “authentic experiences” is synonymous with “traveling like a local”. In my mind, all the experiences you can have in a foreign country when traveling is authentic. Why? As long as you leave your hotel/resort to go out and do activities, explore the country, it’s authentic. Yes they’re some cliche stuff as you pointed out. However, that does not make them less authentic? It’s like saying going to Paris and visiting the Eiffel Tower is unauthentic. A cliché yeah, but it’s still of Paris. I agree with you on the points you’ve made about traveling like a local. It’s unachievable and ignorant. And that’s what makes your article so relevant. (Saving it in case I need to refer back to it😉). I particularly resonate with the part where you said there’s nothing wrong with being a tourist. Whew! Someone finally says it. These days people visiting a foreign country want to be called a “visitor” or “guest”. It has even made me have drawbacks about using the word “tourist” in my writings or call a tourist to their face, “tourist”. (Can’t call a spade, a spade 🫤). When did this become a thing to avoid?
Totally agree with you, Dahyna! “Tourist” shouldn’t be a dirty word. And your point about the Eiffel Tower is apt--just because an experience is “touristy” doesn’t make it somehow a fake experience, which is what the word “inauthentic” implies, right? If anything, touristy experiences can tell you a lot about a country’s culture and values--what they chooses to present and how they choose to present it is hugely meaningful.
I also think ideas about what is “authentic” are basically determined by stereotypes. I’m sure people have an idea in their head about what someone who lives in Montego Bay does all the time, and it’s probably not accurate. To give another example, there is a restaurant in Cairo that is very famous for making typical, traditional Egyptian dishes. It’s “authentic” in that sense, but if you go, at least half your fellow diners will be tourists…because Egyptians don’t eat Egyptian food every day! They eat all types of things, just like anyone else, so the most “authentic” Egyptian experience is to eat whatever you feel like, lol. Thank you so much for reading 🤗
This is so good! And something I think about a lot. And you have given me so much more to think about. I have been insulated by (quasi) diplomatic privilege for a long time & am now in the middle of the long bureaucratic process to stay Italy. (also an incredible privilege!)
Thank you so much for reading! I’ve been a subscriber of yours for a while and your life in Italy looks amazing...I can understand why you would want to stay!
I visited Egypt to renew my passport and ID card a few months ago. It was the most harrowing experience ever. I was successful in getting both renewed which is a small miracle.
Glad it worked out in the end, Omar! I was talking to an Egyptian friend about this process recently, and his take was that even though it’s impossible to discern from the outside what the system is (which makes it feel very random and frustrating), there IS a system, and it eventually does work. But Egyptian bureaucracy is definitely in a league of its own, from what I understand.
This is such an interesting topic, thank you for your insights. We are currently traveling in India and a lot of what you have shared gives us food for thought about how we are approaching this trip!
This is a topic I think about a lot and I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head. I’m rather obsessed with the concept of ‘place’ and love the idea of trying to get under the skin of somewhere. However, I also think it’s basically a futile exercise because how could an outsider ever fully understand all the tiny nuances and hidden secrets of a culture they’ve just skimmed over.
I do occasionally like to indulge my own sense of superiority and think I’m better than other tourists for about 5 seconds😅 but in reality this is about as stupid as getting annoyed at all the other cars in a traffic jam. You are part of the jam too and are no less ‘guilty’ than anyone else.
“but in reality this is about as stupid as getting annoyed at all the other cars in a traffic jam. You are part of the jam too and are no less ‘guilty’ than anyone else.”
This made my giggle, Mikey--such a good point! Made me think of all the times I’ve gone to a crowded tourist site and thought “ugh, there are WAY too many people here” with zero self awareness about the fact that I’m one of them....😅
Fascinating essay. I’ve always acted a bit smuggish when I’ve heard friends talk about trips they’ve been on, and all the “cliche” places they visited that everyone always goes to, all while patting myself on the back because, surely, had I been in their place, I’d have found much more interesting places to visit. Goes to show how little I know.
😂 I have 100% been guilty of this, too! It’s taken a lot of work to shift my thinking from “you did THAT cliché thing? How pedestrian” to “good for you for getting out there!”
Acceptance to be wrong actually requires to be brave. Great going..
I am a Poet and if possible read my piece and subscribe to my news letter...
https://kallolpoetry.substack.com/p/the-feet-lift-themselves-and-the?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
Hey! I’ve subscribed. Maybe you can also check out my blog, at sismanandrew.substack.com !
This thread warms my heart--first time two authors have connected in my comments section!!
And thank you for providing this space!
Hey did the reciprocation.. Loved looking at the themes and topics you write on.
Awesome! Thank you so much.
This was a very provocative essay. I found the sentence “It’s about showing you get it and the sense of superiority you derive from that” very enlightening. To be superior is to be above others. What does that say about us? It makes me also think of people who when at home love to rattle off all the places they’ve been as if they know these places. The point is again to be superior. Well written Sam!
Thanks mom❤️ I think we should all genuinely ask ourselves if we’re traveling to one-up people or if we’re traveling to learn something and enjoy! Hopefully it’s the latter, in which case...just be kind and aware and do whatever your heart tells you, as opposed to what’s “authentic.”
Love this piece. I encounter it a lot in the "I'm not a tourist, I'm a TRAVELLER" format. It is snobby, as you say: and lures people into thinking they've really got a bead on the geopolitics of the region because of one awkward conversation at a tram stop.
Ha! I have absolutely met many of the “TRAVELERS” you’re describing. Thanks so much for reading, Katrina! Welcome! ☺️
Glad to have stumbled upon this. It brings to mind Jamaica Kincaid's "A Small Place," that being her island of Antigua –
“That the native does not like the tourist is not hard to explain. For every native of every place is a potential tourist, and every tourist is a native of somewhere. Every native everywhere lives a life of overwhelming and crushing banality and boredom and desperation and depression, and every deed, good and bad, is an attempt to forget this. Every native would like to find a way out, every native would like a rest, every native would like a tour. But some natives—most natives in the world—cannot go anywhere. They are too poor. They are too poor to go anywhere. They are too poor to escape the reality of their lives; and they are too poor to live properly in the place they live, which is the very place you, the tourist, want to go—so when the natives see you, the tourist, they envy you, they envy your ability to leave your own banality and boredom, they envy your ability to turn their own banality and boredom into a source of pleasure for yourself.”
Wow--thank you so much for sharing this, Christian. So elegantly put. I had never heard of Jamaica Kincaid and will need to check out her work.
My takeaway from your excellent post -- life is COMPLICATED!
Everything we do has it's pros and cons and there is no one right travel decision -- I think it all has to be taken as a whole.
During our six years of nomading, I have definitely been a tourist -- what else can you call yourself when visiting in Rome for six days?
But when we lived in Sarajevo for two months in a house owned by a local Muslim family, we were something different. Definitely not locals, but walking to my coworking spot every day and getting to know the streets a bit better, as well as the women I bought my bread from and learning the outdoor market I did my shopping in had been bombed during the war, you do become something different from a tourist.
After six years of nomading, I no longer try to put a name on it. I'm just me doing my thing and having my experiences and meeting the people I do and then writing about it.
And, yes, I have totally been "that guy" at times. No, I never made love to a kalamata olive, but I have obnoxiously pronounced Budapest as as Budapeshhhhhht to show how worldly I am.
I think one thing has forced us to realize we are not locals, but instead have an incredible amount of privilege -- that's the fact that we are a gay couple and have lived in some very homophobic countries where the laws won't ever be applied to us, but the locals live in fear of them. That in and of itself is very sobering.
“I no longer try to put a name on it. I'm just me doing my thing and having my experiences and meeting the people I do and then writing about it.”
I really like this take on it, Michael. We don’t have to be “tourists” or “locals” or “travelers” or anything in particular other than ourselves, doing what we’re doing! And I feel you re: policing and (non)application of local laws forcing you to recognize your privilege as a foreigner. One of my weirdest experiences in Egypt has been driving into other governorates and ending up sandwiched between multiple police trucks who have appointed themselves as our escorts...because if something happened to Americans on their turf, it would be a huge embarrassment. Which feels very icky and like it is putting a premium on certain human lives over others. (I’ve been meaning to write something about this for awhile, perhaps it’s time!)
Oh yeah, that's an extreme example of that sort of thing that happens a lot and always makes me uncomfortable. But I've also learned that while I don't like being fussed over and don't like the implications of being "special" you often have to go with the flow and let people do their jobs.
Very true--honestly, one of my general takeaways from life abroad is that there are very narrow circumstances in which putting up a fight and refusing to go with the flow will yield a desirable result, and those circumstances tend to involve threats to your well-being. Might as well save your energy for the times when it’s necessary!
Yup. And that it can't be about what I'm feeling -- I HATE being called Mister and much prefer to be called Michael and on an equal footing with everyone. But that simply isn't how it is done in many cultures. So I accept that and then just make sure I say please and thank you for even the smallest thing.
We had dinner with new acquaintances in one country who happened to be expats. They treated the staff like they were invisible or just machines to be given instructions and I had a very hard time biting my tongue.
Oof. I am sorry to say that I also know many expats like this...even worse, I’ve noticed that behavior is rife among diplomats. Who are, ya know, abroad to represent the U.S. Ugh.
"We don’t have to be “tourists” or “locals” or “travelers” or anything in particular other than ourselves, doing what we’re doing!"
Thank you got freeing me from the shackles of thinking of myself as a tourist or traveller or nomad or any of those other labels. From now on, I shall be a space cowboy.
Yes yes yes to all of this!! I have thought about this for years and you put it all into words so nicely. And thanks for linking to Be a Better Traveler! :)
You are so welcome, Rebecca! I love your travel philosophy and it fits in with this so well. Thank you for reading ☺️
Such a great topic and many valuable insights! Having traveled quite a lot of late, I think the most important thing is to be sensitive to the customs, culture and politics of the place in which you’re traveling and not to be so hidebound in your own national or personal identity that you can’t be open to experiencing something different. I’m naturally curious about a lot of things, which can be an asset when traveling--except when employed tactlessly (like accosting random folks on the street). The “ugly” in American or any other nationality when traveling is really that heedless quality of those who think no matter where they are in the world, they should have their way in all things--food, convenience, creature comforts, entertainment, etc.--no fuss, no bother, just the way it is at home. Why then bother to travel?
This is spot-on, Ruth. Personally, I think being sensitive and kind is 95% of the battle when traveling! And I totally agree with you re: the “ugliness” coming from wanting things to be the way they are at home. I see this play out a lot in Egypt. The pace of life is much slower here, and I sometimes see travelers getting visibly frustrated with it. Some of that is understandable--there is sometimes a fine line between being culturally sensitive/accepting and being a pushover--but I think often people don’t realize that they are being intolerant of things that are very normal in the place they’re traveling. Keeping an open mind and going with the flow is key!
Thanks for this perspective! I think it takes the pressure off, *lol*. And cute painting! I love how the little buds seem to be questing around the page!
Thank you, Victoria!! Yes, it’s a freeing thought! And re: the painting...just doing my best to keep up with my incredibly artistic sisters-in-law ❤️
It is indeed..
I am a Poet and if possible read my piece and subscribe to my news letter...
https://kallolpoetry.substack.com/p/the-feet-lift-themselves-and-the?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2
This was so good! I agree with you. It made me think about my local pub in London. It's great, and if had some friends visiting from say the States or France and they said they wanted to go to a pub that locals would go to I'd take them there. But if that pub then showed up on travel Instagrams or blogs I'd think oh no! My pub!
I completely agree with the tip that being a tourist is OK! That's what you are, you don't live where you're on holiday and yeah, you're having a much different experience than the person who lives there, but that's ok.
The bit that made me really laugh was the idea that some people say you should just ask people on the street for recommendations. Try that in London and the person will look at you like you've got two heads!
Thanks for reading, Tom!! I’m dying at the mental image of tourists asking random people on the street in London for recommendations 😂 That advice has always struck me as so strange...I mean, if you wouldn’t do it in your hometown, why would you do it when traveling?? Just act like you normally would!
This is a great read Samantha! I work in the tourism/travel industry in Jamaica and I am not particularly fond of the term - “travel like a local.” You’ve made some excellent points. If someone asks about, where I go to eat or have a drink, in their mind that’s a “local” thing to do because I’m a local. And in truth, where I go to eat, hang out and drink is, in essence, where the “tourists” would go because I live in a resort town (Montego Bay).
Getting info from a local about what to do makes tourists “feel” as if they’re having an “authentic experience”. And I think that’s where some people have it confused- thinking that having “authentic experiences” is synonymous with “traveling like a local”. In my mind, all the experiences you can have in a foreign country when traveling is authentic. Why? As long as you leave your hotel/resort to go out and do activities, explore the country, it’s authentic. Yes they’re some cliche stuff as you pointed out. However, that does not make them less authentic? It’s like saying going to Paris and visiting the Eiffel Tower is unauthentic. A cliché yeah, but it’s still of Paris. I agree with you on the points you’ve made about traveling like a local. It’s unachievable and ignorant. And that’s what makes your article so relevant. (Saving it in case I need to refer back to it😉). I particularly resonate with the part where you said there’s nothing wrong with being a tourist. Whew! Someone finally says it. These days people visiting a foreign country want to be called a “visitor” or “guest”. It has even made me have drawbacks about using the word “tourist” in my writings or call a tourist to their face, “tourist”. (Can’t call a spade, a spade 🫤). When did this become a thing to avoid?
Totally agree with you, Dahyna! “Tourist” shouldn’t be a dirty word. And your point about the Eiffel Tower is apt--just because an experience is “touristy” doesn’t make it somehow a fake experience, which is what the word “inauthentic” implies, right? If anything, touristy experiences can tell you a lot about a country’s culture and values--what they chooses to present and how they choose to present it is hugely meaningful.
I also think ideas about what is “authentic” are basically determined by stereotypes. I’m sure people have an idea in their head about what someone who lives in Montego Bay does all the time, and it’s probably not accurate. To give another example, there is a restaurant in Cairo that is very famous for making typical, traditional Egyptian dishes. It’s “authentic” in that sense, but if you go, at least half your fellow diners will be tourists…because Egyptians don’t eat Egyptian food every day! They eat all types of things, just like anyone else, so the most “authentic” Egyptian experience is to eat whatever you feel like, lol. Thank you so much for reading 🤗
You’re most welcome. Keep up the great work! 🎯
This is so good! And something I think about a lot. And you have given me so much more to think about. I have been insulated by (quasi) diplomatic privilege for a long time & am now in the middle of the long bureaucratic process to stay Italy. (also an incredible privilege!)
Thank you so much for reading! I’ve been a subscriber of yours for a while and your life in Italy looks amazing...I can understand why you would want to stay!
I visited Egypt to renew my passport and ID card a few months ago. It was the most harrowing experience ever. I was successful in getting both renewed which is a small miracle.
Glad it worked out in the end, Omar! I was talking to an Egyptian friend about this process recently, and his take was that even though it’s impossible to discern from the outside what the system is (which makes it feel very random and frustrating), there IS a system, and it eventually does work. But Egyptian bureaucracy is definitely in a league of its own, from what I understand.
This is such an interesting topic, thank you for your insights. We are currently traveling in India and a lot of what you have shared gives us food for thought about how we are approaching this trip!
Your trip to India sounds amazing--that’s always been on my bucket list! I just subscribed and can’t wait to hear more about it. :)
Thank you Samantha!! :-) I'm looking forward to sharing!
You've made me think about things I've never thought about, Sam - such a great post! Thank you!
🤗 thanks for reading, Rebecca!
You are so wonderfully thoughtful and introspective Sam! I
😊 thank you Vicki! Hope all is well with you!!